I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
