Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
