My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
