Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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