I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's always time for handjobs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
