Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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