All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize
