The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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