elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My bed smells like the plague
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
