I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
