The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
