You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
