this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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