Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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