Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
