Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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