thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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