So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
