Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
