every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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