DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
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