put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
