I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
