what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
