You really coming over, don't trick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
