dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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