My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
