Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
