Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
