Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
