For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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