he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
