Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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