How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
