I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
