This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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