he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
