When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
