woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
