This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
