let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
