it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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