shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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