I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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