Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
