You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
