You really coming over, don't trick.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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