I CAN MOONWALK!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
