I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
