But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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