going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
