I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
