Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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