Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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