my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
