This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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