Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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