i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
