id be glad to
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
