I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
