so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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