If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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